im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
