I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
