Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
