Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
