you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
