i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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