Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
