Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
