if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Randomize
