We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
