google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
