Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
