you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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