Dual....:-)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize