I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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