This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
