There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
