She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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