yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
