Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
