Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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