some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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