I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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