So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
