that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
