This girl is more easily done than said...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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