Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
