You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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