dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
