woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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