i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
