Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wanna passion pit in your ass
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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