you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
