you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
