She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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