he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
