he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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