she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
