I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
