I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You took a bar mat shot.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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