'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Randomize
