i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
