Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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