So drunk its hurt
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
wow bdsm is so cute
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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