i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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