Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
