Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think my fart just growled at me.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
