Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
