And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
