she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
