I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
