didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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