are you still at the devil's house?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You were trust falling into bushes
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
