She's JV to your varsity
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
