He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We are all done wearing pants today
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
