my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
