It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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