Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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