Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
