I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
there is glitter all over my balls
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