My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
