you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
