She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
