i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
