Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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