i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize