i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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