i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
