pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The Olympian is in my bed
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
