Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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