Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
